Rolling into age 31

Year 30 is wrapping up for me and I’m rolling into year 31. The second half of this year has been

crazy, I could have never imagined half the things that have happened. I have learned so much

about myself, I have grown in ways I wasn't expecting too, I am now craving things for myself

 that I never even dreamed of before, and I am proud of myself!

I’m not going to spend a lot of time talking about everything that happened over the last year because this post is about how I’m rolling into year 31. But I am going to give a short overview to help paint the picture of how I have landed where I am. Keeping it short is going to be a challenge Because these last twelve months have been packed full of a lot. 

I decided that year 30 was going to be all about focusing on my mental health. If I had to sum the year up  in just a couple words they would be: a beautiful mess. I've had ups and downs. I've let go of relationships that were toxic. I've focused on relationships that are healthy. I've spent a lot of time meditating. I've started a blog. I've sold a house. I've got my kids through 3 months of virtual school. I’m living in a camper while building a new house and for the last four month have been living through a world pandemic trying to navigate the constantly changing new normal covid 19 is creating. 

All that being said I feel like I have grown a ton as a person in this time. I am much happier, stronger and I have learned how to take care of my emotional wellbeing. I will never again put my mental health on the back burner. I now realize it is something you have to pay attention to all the time. I spend time every single day focusing on my mental health and I crave the emotional clarity I get from it. I have learned how to incorporate my mental health needs into my routine and doing so no longer drains all my energy. 

It's time for me to say goodbye to age 30 and roll into age 31. I’m not going to lie. I'm a little disappointed because I wanted to have a big party to celebrate my birthday but covid 19 stole that away from me. I’m still going to celebrate my birthday just not in the way I thought I would be this year.

I am proud of the person I have become and I am excited to see all the ways I'll grow at age 31. For a few months now I have known what I want my intentions to be for this coming year and I have to say I’m really excited. I feel like this is the next natural step in my journey and I think it's something my soul is craving. This year I am going to be focusing on making my body healthier.

I will not be going on a diet! In my opinion diets cause way more harm than they do good and I do not believe in them. I could spend a while telling all the reasons I think dieting is bad for people but I'll save that rant for another day and just list a couple reasons for now. I believe dieting is sometimes the cause of eating disorders and low self-esteem.  I don't believe a healthy body is measured by weight. Most people start diets because they are trying to make their body look different for others.

For me this is not about image, this is about honoring my body and giving it the best fuel I can. For years I have not been giving much thought to what I have been putting in my body. There have been times I have been eating healthy and times that I have been eating nothing but junk. For the most part i've just been eating whatever whenever and it's been a mix of healthy and unhealthy food. I'm not going to sit here and say I've been eating awful or that i've been eating great. I am going to say I have not been putting enough thought into what I'm eating, I have not been listening to my body enough trying to figure out what it wants and how it reacts to what I put in it.

Another part of my body health is activity level. I’m not someone who gets no activity but I also do not have a routine. Pre covid most days I would get at least my 10,000 steps and 60 move minutes a day. That's what my watch would tell me anyways, but with the new normal I feel like it's rare that happens anymore. I love to ride my bike but haven't made time for it since January. I used to ride at least 60 miles a week. I love yoga and I will randomly practice it but again I don't have a routine. 

Over the last year a big part of my mental health journey has been learning how to go with the flow and now I enjoy it. There is something so freeing about going with the flow and not forcing things. So I am not looking to make a strict activity routine but I do want to make sure I am setting the time aside everyday to listen to what my body wants and do something active. Over the last year I have learned how to set time aside and take care of my mental health. Now it's time for me to add my body health into my daily focus. 

I am more confident with my body image now then I ever have been before. I know this is because of where I am in my mental health journey. My body has been through so much over the years. It’s had decades of different types of abuse in the hands of others and even self harm at times. It’s experienced receiving love in its raw form and it’s given love. It has carried children for me, delivered two babies, and lost one. But it has never failed me when everything else seemed to be falling apart. I am thankful for the body I have and I’m doing my best to love every imperfection it has. Now when I find a stretch mark, a scar, a skin tag, a pimple, a few extra pounds here and there I think wow my body is strong. Each mark comes from somewhere and has some kind of story behind it. My body is an ever changing canvas as I age and it's beautiful.

So this year at age 31 I choose to start listening to my body, I want to give it the fuel it thrives best on and increase my activity level to help make it stronger. I’m excited to figure out exactly what this means I look forward to going with the flow and learning how to listen to my body.